THE SECOND CHANCE (or: Sorry, no co-workers allowed)

Saturday, August 06, 2005
You Know You're Getting Old When...
* ...You finally make it back to the gym and nearly die after only 30 minutes on the treadmill -- and not even running the whole time!

* ...Your shrink decides to try another anti-depressant to couple with your current one to help with a recent onslaught of anxiety! Welcome to the wonderful world of Zoloft, I say! (Or, as Jerry calls it, Vitamin Z.)

* ...Your barber (or haircutter, whatever it is one should call the person who cuts your hair) confirms your fear -- that yes, indeed, there are a few gray hairs poking through in there.

* Your barber watches his tip decrease when one makes a self-deprecating remark about one's hair being thin, and he smiles and nods, adding, "Well, long hair is not going to be your friend anymore. It makes your thin hair look stringy."

*...The worst piece of mail you receive is from the Homeowners' Association, announcing that they've determined the puddles of water existing in the shared garage are actually the remnants of a leak coming from...YOUR BATHTUB/SHOWER! Fix it, ASAP. (That one seriously shut me down for days.)

*...The greatest Friday night you can ever imagine is coming straight home from work, eating Papa John's leftover pizza and watching TEACHERS on BBC America with the greatest boyfriend in the world. (And then going to sleep at 10:30 pm.)

*...The best thing that aforementioned greatest boyfriend in the world can do is to figure out how to configure the two Tivos in the condo and link them up so that we can watch a bunch of pointless reality shows in EITHER ROOM...ANYTIME WE WANT TO!!!

*...The fear that Eric/Cappy will make it back into the Big Brother house over Kaysar can keep you awake at night.

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